Realizations of... Realizations

I watch my daughter as she grows, and learns, questions, explores..soaking up this great big world of newness in her toddler-sized eyes. She takes everything in with all her senses, which by the way she proudly shows she knows-ears, she points to them; eyes, she points to them; mouth she points to it with the added sound effects of smacking her lips together and making a popping sound; nose, she points to or up it....which sometimes then leads to a mini excavating adventure of the nostrils. And she revels in the joys of her new big self, more capable then the 6 pound 10 1/4 ounce being she used to be. And I think..."Where did the time go already?" I can recall her tinyness and fragility but almost only as though it was surreal, and the pictures I look through are like reminders that it really DID happen, that she really DID grow this much already. Wow...what an abundant amount of maturing and developing that this little precious one has been doing. Still, she teaches me as much as I try and teach her...and a new level of humility comes into the picture now as well, as I realize and have to accept that I don't have all the right moves as a new mommy, even if I were a mommy for a second, third, fourth time...I will not ever have ALL the right moves and answers, which is why I need to constantly and consciously point her to the One who does, and always will. But that humility, oh it is a sweet thing in the long run, that is something that will change me in an increasingly profound way. It can turn the most prideful, insecure mess into someone with such richness of character in wisdom and beauty. And who would have thought that this would be something that you are made aware of as you are watching your child and being entertained by her many triumphs and accomplishments? It is amazing, that the most seemingly unrelated topic and thought is connected to you studying your child. And this type of unexpected revelation and realization is yet another reason why I love motherhood...one of the many...

Learning about Love...

I know I've been MIA for a while. That would be due to the lack of time and having a kind of writer's block, though I don't know how that could be since I don't write much! Anyways, I've been thinking a lot about love. But not love in the Hollywood-ized, lovey-dovey, twisted up version. I mean real, to-the-core, unconditional and yet unfathomable love...that we can't fully even grasp but can definitely experience with the presence of God in our lives and hearts and the people He uses in our lives. And it isn't something that just "happens"...love is something that I am experiencing in a whole new way, a way that goes beyond hugs and cuddles, and even beyond that of my daughter...who God is using in my life to show me how to love unconditionally...and that is the kind of love that comes with having your very own child. This love is one that teaches as it grows, and it disciplines you yourself as you either choose or don't choose to base every action from it. I see how all-encompassing it is, within the realm of family. When one person is hurting, the rest are affected. And as Jesus says, if one member of the body is hurt and can't function right, the other members are affected, and it is up to them to then step in to reach out to the one in need. This is how it should be, this is how it is meant to be, within family (and of course with anyone who is in need-which I guess is pretty much everyone since we all need love) . I have seen how much I HAVEN'T done things in love towards another person. And since having my daughter my eyes have been opened a whole lot more, and I praise God for it.

Motherhood is indescribable, and I know I tend to use that word a lot, probably because when you find something indescribable....there are no other words to decribe it besides....INDESCRIBABLE! But it's a potent combination of care mixed with love mixed with compassion mixed with empathy, which can all be placed under the essence of love itself, though each has different times when they are individually exposed and exercised. Love is what grows us, and grows our children, and that is why it is so important to always act towards them in love, and that doesn't always mean "lovey -dovey" happy times, it also means firmness and times of disciplining. But see, that's the beauty of love, it is so beautifully ironic, contrasted in such a way that it makes it's cause stronger, because in the those times of firmness and disciplining and steering someone in the right direction even against their own will...the ending result is a stronger closeness and love that is developed in themselves, whether or not they realize it at the time. It teaches, it shares, it supports, it encourages, it comforts. Yet it also admonishes, disciplines, cautions, and is always completely and sometimes painfully honest. But with it all, love is made stronger, and the more it is used and practiced, the more beautiful and incredible and deep a relationship will be.